Merry meet to you all,

I have surived the loss of my cousin. Though I was unable to go up to michigan to say good bye in person, I did so in my heart. My roommate and I went out to the beach ( we go alot) and one of the days I got real quite while he was on shore cooking and while looking out over the bay, I told her I loved her and missed her. I knew she was free from illness now and I would always keep her in my heart. I did cry and when I heard my roommate coming up behind me I went under the water to shield him from my tears. I acted as if I was just wetting my hair.

be that aside I am not having a good year. at the moment still unemployed and strugling with paying bills with one income. I have a lead on a job but I most likely wont know till monday. I can only hope this will not turn out to be another dud.

I do not understand why my 'luck' is so bad these days. Ever since I was fired for reporting my dm I feel like I am being punished, even though I know I did the right thing.A couple times I have told potentchal empolyers the truth behind me losing my last job and all the truth got me was conserend looks and no call back. Both jobs I had the skills they needed and the experance.

I feel like I have lost my way and somehow have been diverted from my true path and I am not sure how to find my way back...

Blessed be to you all and may your lives be filled with all the good things in life.

 

This is really the first time I have been on line more then to check my email.

Friday 4/18/08 is a day in my family that we will not soon forget.
I got a call around 4ish pm. It was my grandmother, telling me my aunt, my mother's older sister, had just called... My aunt called from Michigan to inform us that my cousin who is only a couple years older then me had collapsed and passed away. I didn't .. let me rephrase that I was incapable of staying on the phone any longer then to just muttering no and not her. I have no info on what exactly was the cause as my aunt told my grandmother they think it was a heart attack, for I would assume by the little information given to me, that at the time of the phone call the Dr's had yet to determine the cause.

its upseting to be clueless to whats going on as I have not gotten any more word on the cause or funeral details. I ws very close to her so her loss has hit me hard.

Hi all. Not sure if I can post this but I would like to share a new website I am webmaster of. Its a site to showcase my roomie's photographry.

http://smcapturedmoments.com 

His photos are so good. The site is still under construction but avalible for viewing. He hopes to share his hobbie with others and possibly turn it into a business.

Enjoy and Blessed be,

Sabine

as the subject says, that is how I feel. I'm still without a job and have all but lost hope in finding one. I fear I will lose my suv and my phone not to mention my belongings I have in storage. I do not mean to sound as if I seek pity, for I don't. I am just venting as I have no one here(where I live) to confide in. all I know here say the same thing....get a job. all I want to do is scream at them and say what the **** do you think I have I have been trying to do. I just feel so lost...so alone...im to the point I don't want to get out of bed anymore.i just wish...i didn't feel like a waste of space and air...useless...a jack of all trades and master of none. I hate seeing wicked people thrive and good suffer. my ex boss allows others to keep their jobs who actual deserve to be fired and I'm let go cause of who I am... tis not fair.*sighs* I'm going to close my entry as venting has not helped...

 I recently (1/8/08) was the victim of religious discrimination. Though I am sure if asked the person who did it would deny it. But two people very close to me both agree with me that what happen to me boils down to religious discrimination.
As I had posted way back in July I was working for a company called Circle K. Well, in Dec my then district manager (Christina) stepped down due to stress and the man(Tim) that took over made my work life a living hell, though to my face he was ... nice. Dare I say a wolf in sheep's clothing?
 Well let me again go back to a thing I mentioned in my last blog. My new district manager (tim) was the manager was the one I went to after my district manager (Christina) said she didn't care what I wore on my neck as long as it was tasteful. And I might add that she had no problem with me being a witch. Anyhow, I asked tim back then about what Chad had said about my pentacle. He said " I cant tell you to take it off but I will say that it personally offends me."
 Well there was more he basically said that as long as I wore it I would not get the proper respect that a manager should get. And that people will judge me unfairly because I am throwing my beliefs in everyone's face by wearing it. You could tell it really bothered him and he was being very PC so I could not get him for discrimination. But he didn't treat me different until I sort of gave in and moved it. I wore it on my ankle. But it got uncomfortable depending on what shoes I wore. So I moved it to my wrist. Needless to say he noticed and his attitude towards me 360'd again.
 Now for what happened on the 8th. As of the 8th I am no longer with Circle K. I was fired. Though I admit, thanks to the way he talked to me that morning I was going to quit anyways. I had cleared out all my things out of the office about an hour after he and I got off the phone. I however did not get a chance to officially quit I was fired. I believe I was fired because I am a witch and I filed a complaint against him with his boss. He came to the store to fix a paperwork issue that we were having and was talking like he wanted to fix what was going on. And I let him talk. For the way he was talking very pc again I might add... he said the phrase " Becky and I have talked and think its time we part ways" IE..."your fired" I was so pissed and well quite frankly stunned all I said was " Fine close that (pointing to the computer) so I can clock out" he did... I did and I promptly left.
 I am now dealing with depression and financial trouble. Its hard to get a job when you don't have a cell number to give out (I don't have a home phone) so I have to give out my roommate/ex-boyfriends number. And let me tell you... where I live, jobs are slim pickings if I don't want to take a "pay cut" I was making double digits hourly, but the places that are hiring are single digit pay. The few that pay what I was making or higher I either barely qualify or don't qualify at all.
It's hard to keep my chin up and think positive when I am facing what I am. And to make things worse I have a large payment coming up in less then 2 weeks that I have no idea how I will come up with the money and I cannot put it off. In the past 2 weeks I have felt like giving up more then once. And have spent many a day in bed, not wanting to get up cause I felt there was no reason to bother getting out of bed.
 The one thing that bothers me the most about something Tim said was that he said by just wearing my pentacle I was shoving my beliefs in everyone's face. Humor me on this... If that is true then every Christian, Jew, Muslim and every other person who wears a symbol of their said religion around their neck is also shoving their beliefs in everyone's face, which I think is plain crap. I do not see how wearing a pendent is shoving anything in another's face. What a person believes in is his or her own business. And on the same note what one wears about their throat should not be judged, regardless of what hangs there.
 I must say I think its sad and ridiculous to be concerned about what someone wears on a chain about their throat if they they themselves bring no attention to it. Humans have worn things about their neck for all of recorded history, so why bloody care. There are more important things to worry about then some quite witch who happens to wear her religious symbol about her throat.
... I guess I have ranted long enough. I had only intended to write a small blog...*laughs * so much for that. I welcome any comments to what was typed. Though I do feel a little better having let this out... who knows maybe I will wake up in the morning with a different attitude...

 Blessed be to all...

P.S.

Below is a picture of my pentacle